Three Trimesters Inside of a Cult Nightmare https://ift.tt/Bz7Nfac
“Crane doesn’t know this yet, but he’s been pregnant for almost three months already.”
When the first chapter of a book is a single sentence long, that sentence needs to pack a punch. For You Weren’t Meant to Be Human, an LGBTQ+ horror story, White’s first line reached out and grabbed me by the throat.
Pausing after the first paragraph, giving myself time to sit and digest the words, helps me take in whatever new world the author wants to pull me into. I’ll crook my finger between the pages to mark my place, look up, then stare at some fixed middle point in the world while the words tumble around in my head. In hindsight, when I do this out in public, I always feel a little bad for the poor person whose soul I accidentally bore into with an unseeing gaze. I’m not staring at you. Promise. You Weren’t Meant to Be Human had me digesting after every chapter.
Andrew Joseph White, a New York Times bestselling author whose debut novel Hell Followed with Us is slated to be turned into a full-length animated feature, promises a helluva ride with that first line. And boy, does he deliver.
Set in rural West Virginia, amid the lonely haunt of the Appalachians and a tucked-away gas station, You Weren’t Meant to Be Human follows the life of Crane, a nonverbal autistic trans man deeply entrenched in a worm-worshipping cult. In Crane’s defense, the worms seem pretty nice. At first. Among the followers of this sentient mass of wiggling rot (called a “hive”) are Levi, Crane’s not-quite-boyfriend who enforces the hive’s will, Tammy, an older lady who acts as caretaker of its devotees, and Jess, the new girl. The hive offers acceptance, love, and shelter from a cruel world for the low price of regular feedings of human flesh and absolute devotion.
The book is sectioned into Trimesters, with the different stages of Crane’s unwanted pregnancy and its complicated psychological effects standing front and center. In the First Trimester, Crane struggles with the realization that Levi has gotten him pregnant. When Crane reaches out to his non-cult friends (Aspen, a non-binary person, and Birdie, their partner), he decides to get a medical abortion. Before he gets a chance to “scrape this thing out of him” (a punch of visceral language that hits throughout the book again and again), the hive demands he carry the fetus to term.
In the Second Trimester, Crane is put on house arrest and constantly monitored to prevent him from acting out his suicidal fantasies. White approaches this situation with an irreverent tone so blasé, it highlights Crane’s struggle even more. “He must be accompanied by Levi or Stagger at all times, to avoid instances of drinking bleach, hitting his stomach with random heavy objects, etcetera.”
While his body changes against his will, he often recalls Sophie, the person he was before his transition, referring to the facade of her perfect pretty life while describing her internal struggles with wanting to mutilate herself. These troubles persist, with White delivering sharp one-liners: “The last time he thought too hard he tried to set himself on fire.”
In the Third Trimester, the author wraps up this whole horror-scape in a few shocking ways that you’ll just have to read for yourself. No spoilers here.
If I wanted to pin down one thing that makes You Weren’t Meant to Be Human such an enjoyable read, I’d be standing there with an armful of notes, frozen by the impossible task of picking just one. Do you like vivid descriptions of body horror mixed with psychological trauma? Well, this book opens with a list of trigger warnings that’ll be right up your alley. Are you a fan of speculative fiction that unapologetically plants you in a bizarre world that still, somehow, looks a lot like the one we currently live in? You’ll love that “deep in the woods” feeling this story evokes, and the mystery of what, exactly, the hive even is. How about expertly crafted sentences that don’t just linger in the mind, but change you? This is your book, right here.
Not to get too technical, but I couldn’t help but fall in love with White’s writing style. You Weren’t Meant to Be Human is a third-person narrative with all the intimacy of a story written in first-person. Crane’s cadence, his fragmented sentences and accent, are perfectly reflected in the prose. While dwelling on the packaging of a pregnancy test, for instance, his mind drifts to trans representation in the media: “One commercial even showed a man looking down at his (flat) belly while a handsome husband rubbed his shoulders. How wonderful. After decades of fighting tooth and nail, a trans guy got to see himself on TV for three seconds.” Crane’s thoughts can be heard ringing through the prose itself.
White handles representation with artful ability, showing off a multifaceted cast of characters with all their strengths and glaring flaws. He uses small details (a brief scene of Crane taking his testosterone injection, another where Crane gets overstimmed by a wet shirt) and punchy lines to flesh out characters with beating hearts.
White sets the stage for an unsettling story about identity, consent, and what people are willing to do to feel whole in a life that’s done its best to shatter them into pieces. If you want something visceral, a book that will leave you reeling, You Weren’t Meant to Be Human won’t disappoint.
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